Timing is one of the more important struggles of a relationship. We all run into timing issues. When is the best time to propose? When should we talk about combining bank accounts? When should I meet his parents? When should I tell her that her cat is a jerk?
Before we get to the heavier timing questions, however, we get a little practice with the easier ones. So today we’re going to start with an easy one: promise rings.
Why is a promise ring important?
Promise rings, as with many relationship customs, have religious roots. Without a boring history lesson, a Pope in the 1200’s decided to create a mandatory waiting period between the engagement and the wedding. These rings were basically engagement rings at first but evolved in meaning as time went on.
A promise ring today is essentially an initial sign of commitment. Not as heavy a commitment as an engagement, but a sign that you want to continue progressing the relationship. Particularly for those couples that plan to wait a bit longer (more than 2 years) to get married, this can be a good midway point.
Who should get the promise ring?
In this case it doesn’t particularly matter. Either member of the couple can get the other one a promise ring as it’s merely a symbol of a desire to continue progressing the relationship. Of course, this goes for non-romantic couples too. Sometimes friends give each other promise bracelets, necklaces and other jewelry as a sign that they want to continue that relationship, whatever it may be. But get it with purpose, because it will have purpose whether or not you want it to.
Be Crystal Clear
The number one mistake that people make is that they don’t clarify the meaning of the promise ring. The last thing you want is to get a beautiful piece of jewelry for someone only for your intentions to be misread. Be very clear when you are giving them the jewelry and before they get too many ideas in their head of exactly why you’re giving it. Many times a ring will be given and the female will expect an upcoming proposal while the male just wanted to get a nice piece of jewelry for his girlfriend.
When Is The Best Time?
This varies depending on the situation:
- If you’re too young to get married then there’s really no wrong time, but we’d recommend no sooner than 2 months in.
- If you’re bridging the gap to marriage, around 4-6 months is a good time-frame. Don’t get her a ring too late (1 year or more) unless you’re planning a proposal because it will likely send the wrong signal.
- In rare cases, if neither person wants to ever get married then promise rings can be given in place of an engagement ring.
In the end, the best judge of the situation is yourself. Every relationship and every person is different.
Need help finding the perfect promise ring? Schedule your appointment with our experts or call us at (720) 560-3548 to get started!